Halloween Horror Nights 30 (Universal Studios Florida)

After a LONG year off, Universal waited and waited.. in late July 2021, we finally got concrete announcements. Halloween Horror Nights was coming back! Three houses would be returning from last year's HHN Lite, but Haunting of Hill House would make its anticipated debut as well as Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Four IPs, 6 originals... and then announcements of themed food? Interesting. However, the gamechanging announcement came two days before the start of the event... due to high coronavirus rates, there would be plexiglass in 'select spots' throughout the houses. No way this is NOT going to impact the event. Sure enough, we were right, and the houses suffered a decent amount because of it.

We were able to go almost every Friday night, in addition to all of opening weekend and some extra weekdays. It was nice to see the crowds progress from Labor Day through Halloween, but the crowds did not peak cpmpared to prior years (I remember 180 min waits for American Horror Story). This seemingly due to international travel restrictions. Either way, the event felt packed some nights, especially during the weekdays for some reason. Crowds were not overwhelming enough to deter us from several runs through the houses though. Here are my (and only my) house rankings for the season, last to first:

10. Revenge of the Tooth Fairy

We were able to go through this house last year during the Lite event; nothing was seemingly changed in the year off. Even the plexiglass was the same... this house was one of three houses that I feel really suffered from the glass. All the glass put the actors in places that were hardly in your line of sight so you would end up having something behind you. Great idea, but just terrible execution due to the restrictions. Smells were nice though. 4 loose teeth out of 10.

9. Beetlejuice

This was the obvious fun house of the year but it just went downhill as the season wore on. The plexiglass was huge issue for this house as the lightning made it block some of the scares and was beyond noticeable. I appreciate HHN incorporating fun houses every year, but there are ways to make them scary as well (see Ash vs Evil Dead). This was not. 5 ghosts with the most out of 10.

8. Scarey: Horror in the Heartland

This house was last for the longest time until the final two weeks of the season when runs just started getting better and better. Timing and pacing was excellent, and it was always a short wait time. I'm not an HHN buff to know what the hell was going on, but it didn't matter for most of the house. Vampires are still vampires and you have some butchers and whatnot. Good effort by that team in October. 5.5 Ohioans out of 10.

7. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This house could have been excellent similar to the last time they did this movie (4 years ago?). Again, plexiglass absolutely destroyed this house with a few Leatherfaces being located behind you as you would turn a corner. Some decent scenes in this one, with the big finale being a tight hallway with chainsaws revving on either side of you. Hope it doesn't come back for another 10 years though... many more newer and better IPs to choose from. 6 cannibalistic family members out of 10.

6. HHN Icons: Captured

I really liked the individual scenes in this one, I just wish there more of them! I feel like we got way too much Caretaker and Usher. Think I saw Jack and Chance twice, very little Director or Storyteller. The dropping window room was loud and scary, but felt like the house was too bright overall which took away from the suspense. Also felt like the throne finale room was not the strong point that it should have been. 6.5 evil clowns out of 10.

5. Puppet Theater: Captive Audience

This was THE house on opening night. So many well-timed pop-out scares that got in your face. Over time, it dropped... not sure why, maybe people complaining about how close scareactors got? Lot of good scenes in this, with the dressing room mirror/vaudeville clown distraction being one of my favorites of the year. 6.5 marionettes out of 10.

4. Case Files Unearthed

A house that has film noir narrating? I can be into that. Case Files was solid with seemingly random scenes, but the narration guided you through each story. Puppet room was solid scares; Yeti made appearances as well. A nod at the end to the Jersey Devil with a giant head popping out. 7.5 gorillas at the door out of 10.

3. Bride of Frankenstein Lives

This was another pandemic house. What's odd is that the layout stayed exactly the same... for a while, this house was middle of the pack for me. Once October hit, the scareactor team timed up their scares with each other. The zipline scare in this house was awesome, and the finale with the twin scares were the best-timed of the year. The distraction scare was crazy as well. 8 flying witch ladies out of 10.

2. Wicked Growth

I wasn't sold on this house's hype in the beginning. Again, once the timing was firing on all cylinders, then it felt like a Scarecrow/Nightingales house. Multiple points of simultaneous scares, an awesome lit bridge and some of the coolest pumpkin interior scenery you've ever seen. Once we pass the Pumpkin Lord for the finale, all hell broke loose with two fake ending scares and one as you leave the tent. Very memorable. 8.5 Li'l Boos out of 10.

1. Haunting of Hill House

The most anticipated house for us of the year. We are big fans of the series and couldn't wait to see what it captured. This house did NOT disappoint nor did we ever have a bad run of it. The fake walls were very well done. Several tall men throughout kept people surprised. And of course the dumbwaiter scene was crazy. The best scare we had was the first run with Nell in the ceiling though. Horrifying and awesome, would have been an all-timer with no plexi. 9 Bent-Neck Ladies out of 10.

Top Sound Bytes:

5. Caretaker is here. - Icons

4. There's a gorilla at the door. - Case Files

3. Be Gone! - Bride of Frankenstein

2. I'm still rehearsing! - Puppet Theater

1. I'm the pretty one, yesss?! - Wicked Growth